


can't be on my own without you

by malecflowers



Series: a collection of things that should have been in/after episode 10 [1]
Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M, Missing Moments, alos can we talk about how this is the smuttiest thing ive ever written, and this is barely smut, ansgt, but oh well, but what else is new, episode 10, i wote half of this drunk and the other half in pain bc i punched a wall, idfk man, my knuckles are super bruised and this hurts, so like im lame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 06:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9980171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecflowers/pseuds/malecflowers
Summary: motel moments: what happens when they first get to the motel to right after they have sex





	

It awkward to say the least, but Philip kind of expected it to be.  
The woman at the front desk gave them a funny look, and she definitely had reason to. They were two teenage boys who should definitely have been in school, but instead they were paying for a few hours in a dingy motel room. Not to mention that they both probably looked terrified and that Lukas was holding onto his shoulder and wincing every few minutes. It probably looked really weird, but Philip didn’t have time to worry about what some random woman thought, he just needed to get them somewhere safer.  
The woman handed him a room key after he passed over the money. She didn’t ask any questions even though Philip could tell by the look on her face that she really wanted to. Philip thanked her and quickly left the office, pulling Lukas behind him. 

The room was small, but it’s not like they needed much, just a place to sit and rest for a while.  
Once they were both inside Philip quickly locked the door and closed all the curtains. Lukas was already sitting on the bed with his shoes off.  
On the way to the room they’d stopped at one of the vending machines and used the last of Lukas’s cash to buy some snacks.  
Philip insisted he wasn’t hungry but Lukas wouldn’t let them move on until Philip picked something, so he just grabbed the cheapest thing and tried to make Lukas hurry to the room. He’d felt incredibly vulnerable standing out in the open like that.  
Lukas was now sitting on the bed cross-legged, laying all the snacks out in front of him and gesturing for Philip to come over. So Philip did, but he didn’t sit across from Lukas, instead he slipped off his shoes, climbed onto the bed, and threw himself into Lukas’s arms.  
He sat on the bed, kneeling so he was slightly taller than Lukas, and wrapped his arms around Lukas’s neck.

At first Lukas was startled, he couldn’t remember the last time Philip had done anything like this, or if he even had at all before now. Once he felt how badly Philip was shaking, Lukas realised that he was terrified, which made him frown and pull his body closer. He was still confused though. They didn’t know much about the situation, but one thing they did know is that the killer knew who Lukas was. They had no way of knowing if he had any clue who Philip was.  
If anyone looked into Lukas’s life they would see that he had a girlfriend at the time of the murders and would most likely assume that it was her in the cabin with him. No one would have ever guessed that Lukas was in the cabin, shirtless, making out with the new boy from the city, not even someone who knew him well. It was a safe bet that no one except Helen, Gabe, and Tony had any idea Philip was in the cabin too, so why was Philip so scared?

Lukas pulled back slightly, brushed Philip’s hair out of his eyes and searched his face for a moment before speaking softly, “Philip, talk to me. Why are you so scared?”  
Philip looked at Lukas like he was stupid, but, realising his mistake, Lukas spoke up again before Philip could respond with some snarky, sarcastic comment, “Look, I know there’s a killer after us and everything, but we don’t even know if he knows who you are, right? So I know there has to be more than just that bothering you.”  
Philip nodded and looked down, mumbling so quietly Lukas almost couldn’t hear him, “Part of me it terrified that he knows who I am and is coming for both of us. The other part is terrified that he has no idea who I am and that he’s just going to kill you, and I’ll be left alone, again.”  
Lukas watched Philip’s hands as he played with the end of his shirt. Philip was still kneeling on the bed in front of him, he hadn’t moved at all except to lean back slightly when he pulled away from the hug. Lukas couldn’t help but notice how small and vulnerable Philip looked sitting like that.  
“Philip, look at me,” Lukas said, his voice soft as he reached up and brushed Philip’s cheek with the tips of his fingers.  
Philip looked up slowly, but didn't meet Lukas’s eyes instead he fixed his gaze on the shoulder where they both knew the bullet wound lay under his shirt. Lukas sighed but started talking anyway, “Philip, you and I are in this together and, I promise, I’m not going to leave you. If I have anything to say about it, you’ll never have to be alone like that again. Let him try to come for either of us, he won’t get very far.”

Philip was caught off guard by the bluntness of Lukas’s words and how full of compassion and caring they were. He relaxed slightly, Lukas’s words had brought him some comfort, not much, but enough. Except now he found that had a whole new set of feelings to deal with.  
After a moment, Philip finally looked Lukas in the eye. His eyes were wide and slowly filling with tears as he stared Lukas for a long while before he leaned up again and wrapped his arms around Lukas tightly.  
He had never felt like this before, so wanted and loved. He was crying, but it wasn't because it was sad, it was because he was happy and maybe a bit overwhelmed, and Lukas understood that feeling better than anyone. 

Lukas held the crying boy close, running his hands through Philip’s hair and whispering softly, telling him that everything was going to be okay. Lukas didn’t know if that was true. In fact he thought it was probably the exact opposite, but he didn’t say that because he knew what Philip needed to hear right then, and it wasn’t that.

They stayed wrapped up in each other's arms like that for a while, until eventually Philip decided that he was okay enough to pull away and scoot back until he was on the other side of the pile of snacks.  
They sat and ate for a while and Lukas turned on the TV when the silence started to feel too heavy.  
He could tell that Philip still wasn’t okay. He’d barely eaten anything and his shoulders were tense, but Lukas kept his thoughts to himself. He didn’t even say much when Philip had a mini tantrum and threw the remote at the wall. Instead he subtly encouraged Philip to lighten up by feeding him some of his sugary cereal and sharing a silly story he remembered about his mother.  
When he saw the way that Philip looked at him after his story, the way he kept glancing at his lips, he felt compelled to kiss him. He knew as soon as their lips touched that this was it, this was going to be the day they finally go all the way.  
He climbed up onto his knees, pulling Philip up with him, and Philip pulled his shirt off. Lukas couldn’t help himself, his hands were all over Philip’s body. His skin was warm and soft and Lukas couldn’t get enough of it. And when his hand briefly rested on Philip’s ass for the first time, it felt like his heart was going to burst.  
Getting his shirt off wasn’t as easy, but they managed it, and then Philip was laying down on the bed between Lukas’s legs and it took every ounce of self-control Lukas had to keep himself in check.  
He was glad he did though, because as soon as he tried to put weight on his right arm and he felt intense pain shooting through his upper body. Even still though, he could feel the way that Philip's body was arching against his as he breathed heavily and tried to speak at the same time. He could tell how breathless and turned on Philip was by the way he spoke, and it was so incredibly hot that it almost made Lukas want to ignore the pain im favour of kissing Philip more.  
But Philip had a different and much better idea. He helped Lukas onto his back and then climbed on top of him, his legs bracketing Lukas’s hips.  
Lukas never admit it if you asked, but he enjoyed this a lot more than he probably should. He couldn't see much more than Philip’s face with the way they were laying, but he could feel Philip’s body under his hands. He could feel the way Philip’s back arched as he pressed their chests together. He felt the way the muscles in his back and thighs moved as he shifted his body, grinding against Lukas ever so slightly. And he could feel the way Philip's tongue brushed against his repeatedly and how he gasped when Lukas nipped at his bottom lip. 

Once Lukas had made it clear that he was ready and he wanted this to happen, Philip wasted no time getting the condom from his wallet, he did it so quickly that it made Lukas giggle. But instead of getting right to removing the rest of their clothes like Lukas expected him to, he went back to kissing Lukas. This time his hands didn’t go back to where they’d been on Lukas’s neck, instead his free hand, the one that wasn’t holding the condom, made its way over to where one of Lukas’s hands was laying on the bed and he laced their fingers together.  
Lukas smiled into the kiss and slid his free hand between their bodies to undo the button of Philip’s jeans.  
To say he was nervous would have been an understatement, but when he finally found the courage to slip his hand into Philip’s boxers and he saw the way Philip reacted, by gasping breathily and pushing himself further into Lukas’s hand, he completely forgot about his nerves and became focused on making Philip feel as good as possible. 

It wasn’t easy. They were both virgins and the situation they were in was less than ideal. The prep was messy and awkward, and when Philip decided he was ready and he slowly sunk down onto Lukas, it clearly hurt. Neither boy dared moved for a while.  
Eventually Philip did relax though. Lukas could tell exactly the moment when whatever Philip was feeling shifted from painful to pleasurable. Philip had shifted slightly a few times, trying to get used to the feeling, and one of the times he must have done something right because Lukas could see so clearly that he was starting to feel more than just discomfort. His thighs shifted, falling open more so that he could take more of Lukas in, and his mouth fell open as he took a shaky breath.  
Lukas was patient, he let Philip take his time, and it paid off. When Philip was finally ready and started to move, it was incredible. There was no way for him to describe what he felt in that moment. The intimacy of it, the feeling of Philip’s body moving above him, and his hands on Lukas’s chest, it was all so much. It was overwhelming, in the best way possible, and Lukas let himself get lost in it. 

 

When everything was calm again and both boys were breathing evenly again, Philip spoke.  
“I know that there’s a lot going on right now and that you probably felt like that was something you needed to do. And I know that right now you’re probably still feeling pretty good about your choice, but…” his voice trailed off.  
Lukas reached over and took Philip’s hand, lacing their fingers together. It was a gesture that was meant to calm Philip and encourage him to keep talking, which is what he did.  
“You might not feel the same way once this is all over and you have nothing left to keep you from having to think about this, about us. I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s okay if you want to freak out a little, just please, please don’t push me away again because you’re scared…”  
Lukas could hear the fear in Philip’s voice and he didn’t like that at all. He rolled onto his side so that he was facing Philip, “I meant what I said earlier Philip, I’m not going anywhere. And trust me when I say this whole mess has not stopped me from thinking out us, sometimes it’s hard to think about anything else. And I’ve already made up my mind, I decided back at the hospital when you were talking about my dad.”  
Lukas let go of Philip’s hand and moved his hand to cup Philip’s jaw, forcing Philip to look him in the eye as he spoke, “I want you Philip, okay? I’m tired of hiding and lying. I’m fucking terrified of this, of everything getting out But I don’t care anymore because I’m pretty sure I love you, and I want everyone to know how incredible you are and how lucky I am to have you.”  
Philip flushed bright red and tried to hide his face in the pillow, but Lukas’s hand kept him still and forced him to look at Lukas when he replied with a soft, “I love you too.”  
Lukas smiles brightly and kissed Philip, whose hand came up to rest on Lukas’s bare waist.  
They kissed lazily for a while, neither of them really had the energy to do anything more.  
After a while they both pulled away and laid on their backs, their hands linked between their bodies, and just took some time to enjoy the fact that, for the first time in weeks, the felt safe and calm. They wanted to take a little while to have some peacefulness before they had to call Helen and jump back into the insanity that was their lives.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ ajminyard3


End file.
